She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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