I just made out with a guy for $7.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize