either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
