Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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