dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
