Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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