You're completely useless in the revolution.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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