I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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