think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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