Your tits are I can't wait for
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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