I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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