the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Couch. On fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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