Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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