Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
