Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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