Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize