He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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