omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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