I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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