do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
