hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize