Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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