I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
