dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
