Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
