it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
