My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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