is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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