I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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