oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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