If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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