Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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