do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize