remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
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This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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