of course. lets lasso hookers.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
