Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
