soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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