Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
