yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
