yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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