someone get that fucking seahorse.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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