I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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