Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
