normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize