Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
