I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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