I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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