He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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