two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
