so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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