He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
