When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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