She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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