If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
