They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
