well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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