I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
