I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
