just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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